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Shine your brightest.
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LIA
Some things are better off as secrets. Links
Layout: vehemency |
Thursday, February 21, 2008, 11:34 AM
i seriously don't know what to say anymore.in other words, i'm speechless. i don't know what to do anymore. i hate this feeling. it hurts, REAL BAD. know how it feels like? feels like a sharp knife piercing through your heart. painful enough? the knife stays there, danggling, with loads of blood gushing out. this blood, it's not red. it's black instead .. and each time it rushes to come out, it hurts even more. on top of that, i have to appear smiling. pretending like it's not affecting me. i lie to myself everyday, reminding myself, not to give myself away. it's like a big rock to carry, supressing me. but i have to live with it, the tears are fighting to come out, but i won't let them fall. OH WHAT A HELL LOAD OF CRAP. yesterday night, before i went to sleep. i lied on the bed, thinking. i told myself that it was alright, and smiled. but somehow, it hurt more. and i could feel the stabbing pain. i wanted to release them, my frustrations and all. but i forced myself to sleep. i can't keep lying. it cuts deeper. =,= i'm very tired of waiting, so i thought perhaps i should stop. yeah? weird person, you're driving me nuts. i know i shouldn't bother, anymore. tata. |